Deanna Nelson was my cousin, but she could have (and probably should have) been my sister. We were both adopted, in the same year, to loving families. From a very early age, she was my best friend. Although we grew up in different states, we were always together a few times a year from toddlerhood through adulthood. As adults, we talked on the phone at least every week, sometimes every day.

After earning her degree in Psychology and Music Therapy from St. Olaf College, Deanna spent 10 years of education and internships to become a Doctor of Psychology and forensic psychologist. As a cute, 110lb curly-haired blonde, she spent the last five years working for the State of Minnesota in a state hospital, evaluating and reporting trial competency and insanity pleas of accused violent criminals. Most of her evaluations were conducted face-to-face, in a small room, with only her and the accused. This work environment did not scare her - she loved the intellectual challenge.

In June, 2008, Deanna was diagnosed with rare triple-negative breast cancer. It was the same month my wife and I learned we were pregnant with our son. After Joshua was born, she was named his godmother.

Through 2008 she received treatments, and was declared cancer free in 2009. During this time, she was truly alive, finding a renewed sense of life and purpose. She travelled with us around the world and visited any chance she could. We thought her cancer was behind her - a chapter in her life that she could close.

In February, 2010, Deanna learned her cancer had returned, having metastasized into 30 tumors in her lungs. She was frightened. She was angry. But she did not give up - she did not quit.

She applied for clinical trials in Houston, Seattle, and Raleigh. She continued to work through her treatments, and traveled to many of the places she wanted to see: Costa Rica, the Caribbean, Florida, Los Angeles, and Seattle.

Less than a year ago, our family and some close friends took a cruise to the Caribbean where she zip-lined, parasailed, rode horseback, and relaxed in the sun. She took it all in.

Deanna lived life on her terms. She was never married. She had no children. But she filled her life with her passions: Her work. Listening to and playing music. Spending time with her terrific friends. Traveling. Photography. And, most importantly, her rescued dobermans, who were essentially her adopted boys.

Deanna passed away September 23, 2011, at 7:40am in her own home, in her own room, surrounded by friends and family. On her terms. It was a cloudless, cool, beautiful morning in suburban Minneapolis.

~~~

I am proud to say I knew her. I am proud to say she had a major impact on who I am as a person. I am proud to say I was looking into her eyes and holding her hand as she took her last breath.

I am proud to say that I know she would have done the same thing for me.

I love you Deanna Nelson. You will always be a part of me.